Gender play

Eli with transformer

 

 

“A surprise for me!!!”

Little Brother third birthday

and the first present arrives.

“Cool!  It’s a robot!!”

“Open for me!”

Big sister five lingers nearby.

 

Her two-months-passed birthday

still fresh in her mind.

“Ooh.  A TRANSFORMER!!

Can I play with it too?”

She sits close to her brother, with watchful eyes

 

Eventually,  Almost Three loses interest in his prize.

He says, “I want to cook with Mommy!!”

Runs to the kitchen. Clambers up the stool.

“Bowl please! Want some water please!

Want spoon please! Man spoon!”

 

Alone on the floor now,

Sister works the cast off prize.

She has figured it out.

Put on the wings.

Make him fly.

 

Little Brother wants Man spoon.

I pull out a teaspoon.

“Nooooo!” silly mommy!”

I pull out a tablespoon.

“Noooo.”  He rolls eyes.

 

I pull out a long-handled ladle.

“Yes!! That’s a man spoon.

Raaaaawrrrrr!”

He growls as he stirs .

She sings as robot flies.

 

The next morning

Big Sister’s sighs.

“Mommy, are there any

princess transformers?”

“I don’t think so.” I say.

She is unsatisfied.

 

“I know!

A Cinderella robot…

that transforms…

into a carriage!”

Her idea makes her smile.

 

And that same morning,

Little Brother carries

robot into school.

On his right hip,

gently cradling him,

Just like mommy

used to do.

 

 

 

 

Too soon

Does this dress make me look fat?

(No. It’s too soon for this.)

It poofs out in front.

(But, you’re only five.)

And I want to look pretty.

(Is this my fault? Is this me?)

You’re cheeks are so round.

(That still stings, but just smile.)

And your belly’s so big.

(And so it’s begun.)

And so it’s begun.

And so it’s begun.

Has the damage been done?

No, my work’s just begun.

 

 

Blue Fountain Day

blue fountain

pic taken from uwishunu.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why this bleary eyed woman

is clutching her face.

Why this messenger-bag-clad cycler

sings loudly on his race.

Why Center City’s heart’s pounding

and I can’t match it’s pace.

 

It’s a blue fountain Friday

and I just want to sleep.

It’s a blue fountain Friday.

And my weariness runs deep.

It’s a blue fountain Friday

and all focus is gone

It’s a blue fountain Friday

just leave me alone.

 

And this Prada clad desi

flirts easily nearby,

and while her heel’s grinding downward

I look to the sky

It’s bright blue like the fountain

but I’m still not sure why…

 

It’s a blue fountain Friday

and I just want to sleep.

It’s a blue fountain Friday

and my weariness runs deep.

It’s a blue fountain Friday,

and all focus is gone

It’s a blue fountain Friday

just leave me alone.

American Dream

American dream?

It’s time for us all to wake!

…some from a sweet somnambulation,

a walking reverie. We speak words

that cut. Our eyes are closed

to our fellow night walkers

and those sounding the alarms.

 

Many are trapped

in a recurring night terror,

heart pounding, dark shadows,

desperately trying to wrest ourselves

from a drugged, thrashing sleep,

limbs flailing. We hurt ourselves.

We hurt our bedfellows.

We hurt the sleepwalkers

who tread casually upon us.

 

And some of us

cycle from sweet dream

to nightmare

and back again.

Or find ghouls

in our meadows,

burn witches

in our fairy tales.

 

Some of us become

the dark thing

that moves inside

another’s sleep.

 

This American dream.

Sleepers. Awake.

Sleepers awake.

Sleepers, awake!

On That Day

On that day

the morning dawned

dark and heavy.

But you said,

“We will make

the sunshine.”

 

And as the sky opened

and water descended

one hundred umbrellas

rose like butterflies

heralding our arrival.

 

We leaped like deer

towards our destiny

under a canopy

woven with mother’s love,

held aloft by blood ties.

 

We sat on our dais

receiving blessings

from all our gods

and all our people.

 

A wedding sprite

sat blithely atop

my left shoulder

and beamed.

 

With fire, chants

and circling women dance

we filled our cups

with a lifetimes’

rationing of joy.

 

On this day

seven years closer,

two children richer,

one family stronger,

let us take

another draught.

 

For this day,

my love

is always ours.

Time. Travel. Toddlers.

A sultry summer Sunday, seven am, an hour past waking, Prince two-and-a-half, and Princess almost-five have had their first breakfast, and are ready, more than ready, to start the day here in sunny Philadelphia.

 “Are they ready yet?” says A. “I will check now.” I say.  

 I reach out across time and seasons to a nippy, drippy, winter’s nine pm, Sydney, Australia all the way to the apartment where my sister and her husband have made a new life. Their faces appear, somewhat sleepy in the late evening darkness, but suddenly lift, when they see A and E chittering like monkeys in front of them from 9869 miles across the world. 

And then the magic really begins.

In Star Trek, this was the future.Video phones connecting across the final frontier.  But Gene Roddenberry could only imagine what this was like with an adult’s practical eye.  In the hands of two toddlers, the static, piped-in, moving picture of beloved aunt and uncle becomes a kid’s most coveted and elusive wonder: a captive adult audience. 

They compare stinky feet,  praise pee in the potty,  follow my daughter into her bedroom where they take turns making gross faces and throwing up.  My sister opens her mouth wide and closes in on the camera, so close I can see the uvula, and my son runs screaming in fear and delight, “Don’t EAT me!!  Don’t Eat me!!” 

My brother-in-law disappears from the screen and in his place we see a ghostly blanket-covered ghoul attacking my hapless sister. “Help! Spiderman! Help.”  The two year old Spider man, naked from the waste down shoots webs from his wrists at the fiend, and the young warrior Princess strings her bow ready with the assist behind.  

They both leap up and down in victory, the screen showing bare butts and legs bouncing on the bed.  

Across the airwaves the children, my sister, and my brother-in-law play together, no distance between them. The rules of time, space, and sensible- computer-use are nothing but constructs of the adult world, quickly giggled away.  

These are the voyages of starship toddler, to boldly go where no one over 20 has gone before… 

 

  

Kindreds

Kindreds.

I remember you

when I meet you

for the first time.

 

I feel the force

pulling us always

together, apart.

 

By blood or by bond.

We orbit the same sun.

Some kind of truth

we have been circling

all these years.

 

And if my summer solstice

tilt toward occurs

when you are in

your darkest days,

then you will know

a new day

is bound to dawn.

 

We hope to be released

from our unseen tether,

so that we may fall.

Dive into unending light

and burn away

the distance between us.

 

Each of us

on our own journey

we believe.

But seen together

a million miles from here

We are the cosmic dance.

A Mother’s Survival Shanty

Swimming lessons are first

to prepare for the worst.

I guess sailing could be useful too.

Some kind of marshal art.

When things fall apart.

Self-defense in a world gone cuckoo.

 

Perhaps building a fire,

or recognizing a liar.

Who knows what will keep them alive?

Building shelter by hand,

coaxing food from the land.

When I’m gone what will help them survive?

 

The world’s begun cooking

and so I am looking

for ways to build skills and plant seeds,

to help my kids weather

well, weather the weather

in the new world we made with our greed.

 

I dreamed him

I stand in the opening

of my daughter’s 

pale yellow bedroom

looking over her bed.

 

I dreamed him

lying on his side

like he would so often

In the New Delhi winter.

 

Morning fog dampening

his thin bones,

his paper bag skin.

His maroon knit cap

keeping the warmth 

from escaping his bald skull.

 

His thick specs hide his warm eyes.

He sleeps like a babe in utero

just next to my daughter’s curls.

They are at peace and safe. 

My four year old

girl, living, and

my 89 year old

grandfather, passed.

I dreamed him.